C118
I realized this the moment I saw those serious eyes that didn't waver an inch.
Terence didn't rush to see me because something was wrong, nor did he scold me for missing our dinner date.
"Terence..."
From now on, I could tell what kind of words would come out of that mouth. I just knew.
I had mixed feelings. Sometimes I wanted to hear those words, and other times I didn't want to hear them.
But before I could even decide what to do.
"I like you."
Those words consumed all my thoughts.
He likes me. I thought, stunned.
"I thought it would be better to remain friends instead of wishing for too much and then growing distant. I thought it would be better to approach you slowly."
His grip on my hand became stronger. I could feel the thick knuckles even better through the gloves.
"I was a coward pretending to be rational. You..."
The red eyes acquired a soft glow for a moment.
"You can disappear like smoke in front of me whenever you want."
Can I disappear? He added something to my bewildered expression.
"I know. You're not that kind of person. It was just my anxiety."
He took my hand, still holding it, and brought it to his mouth.
"That anxiety made me make a decision."
His lips rested silently on the back of my hand. It was softer and warmer than I expected.
The kiss wasn't long. Unlike the sincere feelings he expressed a moment ago, the sensation on the back of his hand disappeared quickly.
"Ethel."
He called me, leaning down for a moment to kiss the back of my hand.
However, that look in his eyes wasn't as refreshing or light as a kiss.
Terence said, slowly moving his lips.
"I like you."
He said it again.
Although it was something that could no longer be dismissed as a joke or ignored, it was extremely meticulous.
I had to say something quickly.
"Terence."
But my mind went blank, and I had no idea what to say.
"I..."
Traaaaank. Then a loud noise intervened between us.
It was the horn of the train entering the station.
"I'm very sorry."
Vinetta pouted.
"They say the next train won't arrive for five hours. I already booked a ticket for that train. What should I do?"
Terence answered Vinetta's question first.
"We'll go back on that train."
Then he turned his head toward me.
"I'm not asking for an immediate response. I just expressed my feelings freely."
He said, slowly releasing my hand.
"It's late at night, so let's go back."
I'm not sure how time passed since then.
No, I remembered returning to the capital by train, getting off the train, and traveling in a carriage to the imperial palace, but it wasn't clear why.
When I came to my senses, I found myself in front of the annex.
"Ethel, are you okay?"
Vinetta looked at me like that and said.
"What? What did you say?"
"I asked if you were okay. You seemed a little dazed earlier."
Only then did I feel a little embarrassed.
Vinetta must have found it strange that I was constantly restless on the train and in the carriage.
"I'm sorry. I got a little lost, didn't I?"
"It's not something you should feel sorry for, but I'm worried that you're not okay."
Oh, God. Even when I was trapped in the magic stone mine, Vinetta remained calm and silent.
"You were muttering something while looking out the window, and you repeatedly sat and stood up, maybe it's the aftermath of your collapse at the orphanage..."
"No! It has nothing to do with that."
Looking back, I realized that my condition was so strange that Vinetta was concerned.
"But every time I think about what happened with Terence, it's hard to stay still."
Fortunately, he and I were sitting separately on the train, so we avoided the situation of facing each other.
But every time I saw the back of Terence sitting in front of me, I couldn't calm down at all.
I could barely resist the urge to run away, fearing that he might come to talk to me at any moment.
The problem was that I wasn't sure why I wanted to run away.
I received a confession. If he feels the same, I can accept it, or if not, I can reject it.
"It's that simple... Then, why?!"
The moment I started holding my head while thinking deeply.
"Ethel."
The person who gave me this problem came.
"As you requested, I told Jack to send the person called Angela to one of my safe houses."
"Ah, thank you! It's something I'm supposed to do, but I feel embarrassed about it. It's hard to prepare a suitable place immediately..."
I couldn't let Angela sleep anywhere because I was anxious that someone was watching her.
"Haha, I guess I should also prepare two or three safe houses where I can hide when the time comes."
"Yes. It wouldn't hurt."
Terence responded skillfully while I was nervous, not knowing what to say.
"But who is she?"
His eyes became somewhat sharper.
"Not only are they pursuing her, but her behavior seems quite suspicious, so I think it would be best to be careful."
"You don't have to worry. She was the teacher I followed like a mother when I was young."
"No wonder. She gave me a very good impression."
Huh? Didn't she suddenly change her words?
Anyway, I explained to him about Angela.
"I think she's on high alert because she has been through a lot of difficulties for a long time."
"I'll take her to a quiet place, so she can gradually feel better."
"I really hope so."
"I'll give you the address so you can visit her later."
"Thanks for your careful consideration."
"You're welcome."
...
...
When an abnormal silence ensued, discomfort immediately took over me.
"I can't do it!"
While talking to Terence as before, I kept thinking about what happened at the deserted train station.
Especially when you look at those eyes and red lips that are so vivid even in the darkness of the night...
"No! What am I thinking?!"
After trying to rid myself of useless thoughts, I bid farewell to Terence.
"You must be tired, so go inside."
"...Yes, you too."
Just when I felt the voice sounded regretful, something unexpected happened.
Grrrrrrr. My stomach growled.
My face heated up with embarrassment.
"That's because I haven't had dinner yet."
I didn't have much free time because I traveled back and forth on the train, and after learning about Ethel and Liena's shocking past, I didn't feel hungry.
"I only ate once today..."
Terence, who saw me muttering helplessly, smiled with a crooked mouth.
"I haven't had dinner either. If you're okay with it, would you like to grab a quick bite together?"
"Yes?"
"Since we haven't had dinner yet."
So, I was currently sitting across from Terence at the table.
The location is the annex's terrace. I came here after he invited me for a drink on the terrace as we did before at Terence's secret villa.
"Now that I think about it, something like this happened."
Before I divorced, we clinked wine glasses and talked about our life plans.
It was only a few months ago, but it somehow felt like a long time had passed.
From then until now. The things I had experienced and the moments that had passed flashed through my mind one after another.
"...Actually, I knew."
I finally admit it. I had been glimpsing Terence's feelings towards me for some time.
He called me his friend, but when he invited me to dance in front of so many people at the emperor's birthday party, doubts arose in the back of my mind.
After that, even when we joined forces to deal with Iver and handle Elliot, he always listened to me and didn't blame me at all even though he was in danger in the mine.
[—I'm fine, so Vinetta and you can go first.]
Even at the moment his life was fading away, he actually cared about me.
How could it be possible not to know his feelings?
But I pretended not to know. I made the excuse that I couldn't because he didn't say it directly, but the real reason was that I was afraid.
I was afraid of distancing myself from Terence because I couldn't accept his feelings.
I was afraid that my feelings might not be the same as his.
I liked Terence too. But I wasn't sure if this feeling was love.
"Just like with Leandro."
Since we had spent so much time together, I knew very well that Terence was a different person from Leandro.
However, I had already been married once to Leandro with the illusion that I was in love with him, but it failed.
Although I had already overcome the past, I didn't want to experience something like that again. Especially with Terence.
There was no basis, but I could tell. I know that if something similar happened with Terence, the impact on me would be incomparable to what happened with Leandro.
If you have time, you can overcome any pain, but how much time does it really take?
He called himself a coward, but the real coward was me.
"Besides, Terence is a prince aspiring to the throne."
Although I own a top-level magic stone mine, I have many disadvantages over him in many ways.
I was married once, and even though I found out yesterday, I was also an orphan.
Even Liena, who has no marriage background and has lived as Princess Cassius for over a decade, is in a situation where people talk about her for dating Mikhail, so how could I date Terence?
Just thinking about it gave me a headache.
"Ethel."
Then I heard Terence's voice.
"...Are you still uncomfortable with me?"
When I saw him asking me carefully while looking at my face, I felt something inside me.
"I'm really pathetic."
He cares about me even at this moment, but I've always thought about other things besides him. Things like the blows he might suffer and the public attention.
"Terence, I have something to tell you."
I had to come to my senses and tell him my whole truth.
"This may sound crazy, but listen to me."
To do that, I first had to tell him my secret.
"In reality, I'm not from this world."