Chapter 1726. You Can't Avoid Losing. (6)
The words stuck in his throat.
'Heo Gong...'
Seeing the visibly haggard face of Heo Gong, who still maintained a faint smile, Baek Cheon felt notably uncomfortable.
'This is...'
He had heard the rumors. That Heo Gong had made difficult decisions to save him.
Although they had given him the news subtly to avoid frightening him, Baek Cheon, being who he was, couldn't help but understand the true meaning.
However, despite knowing all this, he hadn't thought of going to thank Heo Gong. Pretending not to notice, he had let himself be consumed by his own situation, forgetting even the most basic manners.
Realizing this, Baek Cheon's face turned red with shame.
"I'm very sorry..."
Baek Cheon, trying to apologize, attempted to move hastily but lost his balance and staggered. Heo Gong reached out and gently held him by the shoulder.
"Be careful."
"Ah..."
"If you fall here and die, wouldn't they suspect me? I'm not prepared to face the wrath of the Mount Hua Sect."
His tone was soft and joking. There was a calmness in his words. The discomfort in Baek Cheon's eyes became more evident.
"Isn't that right?"
Only after Heo Gong asked again with a smile, Baek Cheon was able to calm down and clear his throat.
"I've been told that you saved my life. I was very clumsy and didn't thank you earlier. Please forgive me."
"Forgiveness?"
Heo Gong repeated quietly and then smiled.
"Aren't we all people of the Dao?"
"Forgiveness?"
"I just did what my heart dictated. It's not something you need to thank me for. So, why would forgiveness be necessary?"
"..."
"Sit down. Today I'll give you my special place."
Baek Cheon nodded and sat down carefully. Heo Gong sat next to him without much fuss.
Silence reigned for a moment. With the weight of guilt on his chest, Baek Cheon didn't know what to say.
After a while, the silence became unbearable for Baek Cheon, who tried to speak. But Heo Gong was quicker to break the silence.
"Isn't it quite a nice view?"
"Forgiveness?"
Baek Cheon looked ahead again, confused.
...He didn't know. Maybe a few days earlier he would have agreed with Heo Gong. But now, after everything that had happened, the expression seemed strange. Calling a burnt mountain beautiful...
"Don't you think?"
Heo Gong asked again, and an uncomfortable smile appeared on Baek Cheon's lips.
"Yes, but..."
"It doesn't seem like you mean it."
Baek Cheon smiled bitterly.
"I'm sorry."
"There's no need to apologize. We just see things differently."
"..."
"Sure, the exterior is quite ugly... But, well, those burnt trees and grasses are not the essence of this mountain, right?"
Baek Cheon's eyes filled with confusion. Heo Gong, seeing his expression, briefly smiled.
"If the trees of this mountain were replaced with others, would it cease to be Mount Wudang?"
"Forgiveness?"
"Or if one day all the trees on this mountain disappeared, would it cease to be Mount Wudang?"
"..."
"No, it wouldn't."
Heo Gong's voice was calm.
"In the end, Wudang refers to the configuration of the mountain. That's why people call it Wudang in spring and summer, and also in autumn and winter, even though it looks different in each season."
Baek Cheon looked at Heo Gong in silence.
He felt mixed emotions.
The Heo Gong he remembered was a more rigid and severe person. Someone difficult to talk to, who seemed like he would even sleep with a sword in hand.
But the person in front of him now seemed very different. Almost as if only his face was similar, but his personality completely different.
"Dojang..."
With a long and deep exhalation, Baek Cheon began to understand the reason for Heo Gong's change.
"I'm sorry. All of this is my fault."
"I've made you repeat the same thing. It's not a good habit."
"But..."
"I like this place. Or rather, I used to like it. Coming here gave me a sense of relief."
He understood. That's why Baek Cheon had also instinctively climbed up here.
Heo Gong's gaze turned upwards. Beyond the mountains and fields, to the high sky.
"There was a time... When I believed I could reach the highest place in the world."
"..."
"In fact, I thought I should get there. And I was sure I had the talent to achieve it."
Baek Cheon nodded silently.
"The Sect Leader always said that Heo Gong should lead Wudang to be the best sect in the world and become the best sword. And I was sure I could do it."
Just like Hye Yeon of Shaolin, Heo Gong had been seen as Wudang's great hope. Someone destined to reach the highest positions in the world.
"I believed it too without a doubt. Until I met your situation."
Unknowingly, Baek Cheon let out a sigh.
"That's..."
"Don't misunderstand me. It's not that I want to blame you. It was just a revelation for me. I realized that I couldn't reach that place."
Baek Cheon's face hardened.
"Do you understand? I don't know why, but at some point, I was living just to reach that place. My life only had value in that purpose. But... that day I realized I couldn't be the best sword in the world."
"Dojang..."
"And upon realizing it, I started to wonder: without that purpose, what value does my life have?"
Heo Gong let out a brief laugh.
However, Baek Cheon sensed a sharp pain in that fleeting laugh. He recognized that feeling because it was similar to the despair that now kept him trapped.
"It's not like that anymore."
"...Not anymore? Do you mean you don't care now?"
"That's right."
At that moment, something stirred inside Baek Cheon. It wasn't a feeling of admiration or astonishment.
"Really?"
Baek Cheon asked again. Heo Gong, who was about to respond calmly, stopped and looked at Baek Cheon. He noticed that his voice sounded a bit strange.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Isn't it just an excuse?"
"Deputy Sect Leader."
Baek Cheon pressed his lips together tightly.
His reason knew he shouldn't do this. The person in front of him had given up his martial ability to save him. He was literally his savior.
Moreover, he owed him his life, and that debt was not light. Baek Cheon's behavior at this moment was completely out of place.
But, despite knowing this, he couldn't contain himself.
"I'm not trying to belittle your realization. Surely you reached a great understanding. But... still, I have to ask one thing."
"What thing?"
"Could you say the same if you hadn't lost?"
Heo Gong seemed a bit perplexed and remained silent for a moment.
Baek Cheon kept biting his lips, trying to contain his impulse, but once emotions overflowed, he couldn't stop them.
The uncontrollable emotions flowed like a flood he couldn't handle.
"Could you say the same before losing? And if you still had hope? Would you still think the same? Or is it that now that you've lost everything and can't get it back, you're convincing yourself that it doesn't matter?"
Baek Cheon's face twisted even more. He wasn't angry. He felt repulsion. A deep contempt for himself for saying these things to his savior.
"Those who have don't belittle gold because they know its value. But those who have nothing easily say that gold is worthless. Because it's more convenient to belittle what they can't obtain. What do you say? Can you really say it doesn't matter?"
Baek Cheon's voice became more intense. His trembling lips and disoriented eyes clearly showed he was in the midst of great confusion.
"Could you say the same if you had a second chance? If you could regain your martial ability and be who you were, would you still say the same? Really?"
"Deputy Sect Leader..."
"What does it mean to be a person of the Dao?"
Baek Cheon's eyes filled with tears. His cry echoed throughout Mount Wudang.
"Does it mean having no desires? Laughing and saying 'this is who I am' when you fall? Solving everything by saying you follow the Dao? Really...?"
Baek Cheon's thin hands trembled. Heo Gong just looked at him with eyes full of compassion.
Baek Cheon, breathing heavily, closed his eyes. His eyelashes trembled pathetically.
"I never desired the sky... Never."
"..."
"Just..."
Baek Cheon's head slowly dropped.
"Just..."
His words faded away like smoke. Heo Gong, who had been watching in silence, stood up. He looked towards the distant sky and spoke.
"What is being a person of the Dao...?"
Repeating Baek Cheon's question, Heo Gong sighed briefly.
"It's true. You're right. I acted as if I knew everything. As if the pain of others didn't matter."
"..."
"I was rude. Forgive me."
With those words, Heo Gong turned around.
Baek Cheon, startled, lifted his head and saw Heo Gong walking away.
He had to say something. Anything.
"Dojang..."
He had to apologize. For his rude behavior. For his stupidity.
At that moment, Heo Gong's voice was heard. There was no trace of disappointment or anger in it.
"What was your dream?"
Baek Cheon, unable to respond, could only look at Heo Gong's back.
"To make the Mount Hua Sect the best sect, to be a great leader, and maybe gain some fame. Maybe you wanted to use what you gained to help others. Or maybe you were looking for something I can't imagine. But..."
Heo Gong's voice, without turning around, slowly penetrated Baek Cheon's ears.
"What did you plan to do after achieving all that?"
Heo Gong stopped and turned slightly.
Baek Cheon, unable to bear Heo Gong's deep gaze, lowered his head. He was evading the question.
"Maybe what you need now is an answer to that question."
Heo Gong began to descend the mountain. His step was a bit limp. The aftermath of his injuries had not yet healed. He had come all this way thinking of finding Baek Cheon.
Baek Cheon closed his eyes, feeling a mix of bewilderment and desolation.
When he opened them again, only the clear sky extended before him.
"I..."
He laughed bitterly.
"I'm the worst person."
When he lowered his head, a solitary tear fell down his face.
