C515
There was an end to the cursed fate.
The life that hadn't allowed me to do anything, that had only been hunger, had come to an end. It took a long time to reach that point. A time as long as to renounce renunciation, only at the moment when the life of that universe came to its end was I released.
However, liberation was the beginning of another hell.
A gray ash desert,
Varied colors adorned the sky,
In a desolate world where not a trace of life was felt.
"──."
Suddenly,
I realized my role.
It was a sensation I experienced for the first time in my life.
Completely unknown knowledge flowed into my head like a torrent. The truths I learned one by one were so shocking that I...
"…Hehehe."
I couldn't help but laugh.
How could I not?
Finally, I had discovered the reason why I had suffered so much.
"You haven't sought a God, have you?"
A raspy voice came.
She was a being with bleached hair contrasting with her tan skin.
"In no situation, no matter how difficult, do we seek a God. That's what we are."
Her stuttering way of speaking was unique, as if I had never heard it before, but it was not enough to distort the intention of her words.
Above all, I knew what kind of being she was.
"We?"
That's why I was even more repulsed.
"Don't compare me to you. Do you even know what hunger is?"
Not all Knights were the same.
Nor had they experienced the same suffering.
So don't try to create a sense of community with me, damned bastards who don't know what hunger is.
"I don't know. But I do know something else."
"What?"
"Why we are like this."
"..."
"It exists. Out there. A being born from the overlap of hundreds of millions of miracles. A being who will live a long life without experiencing a single failure. The other side of the coin, like light and darkness, a being who has taken all the blessings we should have."
"..."
This was something I couldn't know with the knowledge I had acquired.
I asked her.
"Who is it? That being."
"The Rulers."
With a concise answer, she continued.
"Perhaps all beings are born with their own purpose. According to the classification 'he' established, we are losers from birth. And the Rulers are innate absolutes, beings who have had everything in their hands since the first step."
"Who is he?"
"God."
"..."
That day.
Since the day I first met God and the Rulers, I don't know how much I hated them. And I envied them even more.
Overwhelmed by inferiority and defeat, I tormented myself once again.
No one would know this side of me.
I didn't even think to speak it.
I didn't want to show a weak image, so I laughed again.
-----------------------------
We all have a past we don't want anyone to discover.
No matter how important the person is, even if they're more than family, there are things we simply don't want to reveal.
In Pale's case, that would be her past plagued with hunger.
'I'm sorry.'
Lucas apologized first.
She wanted to hide the origin of her being, but Lucas rifled through her memories without her permission. It was an act worthy of reproach.
'So that's it.'
However, thanks to that, Lucas could understand Pale's essence.
He also learned of the blind hatred she felt for the Rulers.
"Hahaha...! Hahahaha...!"
Pale laughed, but she was not at all joyful. She seemed mad, but she was the most sane person of all. That was what Lucas could see now.
…Then,
At this point,
There was something he had to say to her. Even if it changed nothing, even if it was a senseless act.
"At this rate, we will win this battle, Lightning God."
It was true.
Although he had lost an arm, the Lightning God was displaying incredible combat prowess for being one-armed.
He not only stripped Pale of her helmet. He was also minimizing his own damage while continuously damaging Pale's armor.
The Lightning God, still focused on the battle with Pale, responded.
"At this rate, why do you add that useless phrase?"
"I think we should do something crazy that lowers our chances of winning."
If another person had heard this nonsense, his body would have frozen for a moment.
Of course, the Lightning God didn't make such a stupid mistake, but the disbelief he felt was comparable.
"Don't you understand the situation? We are finally gaining momentum. We barely managed to regain the flow that had passed to the Blue Knight. Do you understand? If we don't maintain this momentum, there won't be a second chance."
The Lightning God looked.
He looked at the woman who, despite losing her helmet and half of her armor, had not lost an ounce of her spirit.
"If the Blue Knight takes the initiative once more, defeat is certain in that instant. As I said, that guy is growing even at this moment."
"You're right about everything."
"Then..."
"But."
At that moment.
The Lightning God experienced the unpleasant experience of his body, which he was controlling, moving on its own.
His mouth opened without his consent and uttered words.
"This time, do as I say."
Immediately after speaking the words, the Lightning God's pupils widened slightly in surprise, but then narrowed again.
"Have you grown even more? Regaining control of your body while looking at the past, present, and future."
"Just the tongue and lips."
"What are you going to do?"
"I told you. We have to do something crazy that lowers our chances of winning."
"...Don't tell me you're not 'seeing' now?"
He refers to the power of Omniscience.
Lucas chuckled bitterly and said:
"Not yet. I'm parallel. But the limit is approaching gradually. Don't you know that too? The longer this useless conversation lasts, the more our chances of winning will go down the drain."
If someone saw this spectacle, they would probably burst out laughing.
It seemed like he was talking to himself, as if he were playing two roles in one.
"Are you daring to blackmail the Lightning God?"
"It's a matter of thinking sensibly. I warn you, I have no intention of giving in to this coercion."
"You're getting more impudent every time."
"...Do you know that expression too?"
However, the lone spectator, Pale, was not interested in their conversation in the slightest.
She still had a smile on her face, but the reason for her smile wasn't the dull comedy of the beings before her.
"Uh-huh. Alright. Just act however you want for once."
The Lightning God said that and refocused on the fight. The control Lucas had regained was limited to his tongue. For now, that was enough.
“Pale.”
He called out to the woman with blue hair. There was no response.
“Pale.”
In an ultrashort amount of time, even more compressed than that. Amidst the fierce battle, Lucas called out once more.
Still, there was no response.
She, Pale, merely wielded her sword with a slight smile.
"Don't you intend to listen?"
However, Lucas was also responsible for this misunderstanding. That's why there was something more he had to say.
“You're wrong.”
"─Ha."
This time there was a reaction.
Pale's gaze filled with sarcasm, and the strength of her sword increased.
The Lightning God clicked his tongue. Strengthening or weakening according to emotions... that's a law that only applies to the weak. As expected, the Four Knights are beings that are outside the norm in many ways.
The intensity of the battle heightened.
But this is only the beginning. Lucas will now stimulate Pale's feelings in a rougher and more violent manner. Most of the consequences will fall upon the Lightning God.
Lucas, feeling a bit sorry for him, continued speaking.
"Now I understand your modus operandi."
He recalled an event that occurred in a timeline.
In that timeline, Lucas headed to a place called the Scrapyard. It was Pale who led him there. (Note: In other translations, it had another name, but I can't remember haha)
The corpses of 'countless Lucas',
To become stronger, he had no choice but to devour them. Pale probably saw through that objective as well.
And Lucas devoured them.
He devoured them all without leaving any, committing a sin. Later, when he reunited with Pale, she rejoiced more than anyone upon discovering this fact.
At first, he didn't know the reason, but now he understands. At that moment, Pale felt a low similarity. She also experienced an addictive pleasure in the guilt of corrupting someone.
...She must have felt love too.
That was a twisted affection directed only at those who shared the same sin. It's not that you can only love someone with the same wound. It's much worse than that.
Pale, if such people didn't exist, would try to create them. That's why she led Lucas to the Scrapyard,
And she induced Butterfly to devour her parents.
"That's not right."
Lucas murmured again.
"That method is wrong."
"What's wrong with it?"
Pale responded softly. This was the first time they had a conversation since she went out of control.
"You can't drag others along while you walk through hell. Being beside someone may alleviate the pain for a while. But... in the end, the environment remains hell. Nothing changes."
"Change? I don't want to change."
"No. You crave change. You desperately long for your environment to change. You're the loneliest person I know, you can't bear to be alone."
The strength flowing through Pale's pale blade doubled. The arms wrapping around Thunder blocked the attack, but the Lightning God's body sank into the ground.
He coughed up blood. Only then did the Lightning God concretely understand what Lucas meant by "doing something crazy that lowers our chances of winning".
Prolonging this conversation and stimulating Pale was a direct path to defeat.
"You were screaming every moment, begging me to look at you, to understand your pain."
Lucas slowly recalled the past.
"It's been like that since we met. I'm sorry. I didn't realize."
He thought she was an incomprehensible monster.
He continued to watch her and take her into account after that.
The same happened in this life, the life in which he could confidently say he was the closest to Pale.
Even after reaching the Three Thousand Worlds, he still treated Pale like a dangerous element. Though he didn't say it directly, he always regarded her as an uncontrollable monster.
He had been watching her more than Diablo, the Demon King, or even the Rulers, who were his original target.
...That wasn't right.
"…"
Pale's pupils began to tremble. It was a different attitude from before. The smile had disappeared from her face at some point. Her clenched lips seemed to be struggling to contain the voice that bubbled up.
"It's not too late yet."
"…"
"I'll help you. I'll teach you how to live in a more correct way."
Of course, Lucas wasn't knowledgeable enough about life to brag. But originally, life doesn't have a correct answer. There's only one truth.
Life is originally suffering.
And in Pale's case, she didn't even know what tormented her. It must be the most miserable and sad thing in the world.
"...And also how to kill inferiority, control jealousy, and overcome defeat."
No one is completely pure. We all have a handful of evil in our hearts. There cannot exist a human being who is completely good from head to toe.
Now Lucas knows that too.
"I learned it thanks to you."
"……."
"I learned it because I devoured many 'me' in the Scrapyard."
Pale wouldn't understand what he meant. Pale, who had been looking at this place for a while, diverted her gaze again.
Lucas wanted to reach out his hand. But he couldn't.
The control of the body was still in the hands of the Lightning God. As mentioned, Lucas could only partially control the tongue and lips.
Even that had a limit now. Lucas returned to the Lightning God the control he had regained for a short time. And turning his gaze away from the battle between the Lightning God and the Blue Knight,
He looked towards the future.
Hopefully, this conversation won't be in vain.
I hope something has changed, even if it's just a little.
He stared, with fervent desire. He watched futures more numerous than the stars.
"──."
Lucas blinked once.
From the possibilities that exceeded hundreds of millions,
Most of the futures began to disappear at a rapid pace. It was as if the Milky Way under the black sky was rapidly dimming. As if a city full of lights had lost electricity, the 'possibilities' vanished one by one.
It's a secret to the Lightning God, but Lucas couldn't find a "future where he reconciled with Pale".
He couldn't find it.
Such a possibility didn't exist in the first place.
However... he still hoped for something to change.
It was a word he hated, but he hoped for a miracle to happen. However, in terms of results, Lucas's actions were truly foolish. In the view where most of the possibilities had disappeared, only one possibility among the black futures had not lost its color.
"…"
Looking at that future, Lucas silently gave up. The figure of a corpse lying on the ground in the most miserable and pathetic manner, That was an already established future, an unchangeable future.
Very soon...
Lucas Traumen will die.
Tags:
TGMRA (Novel)