C203
Estelle, the woman who gave birth to me.
The story she told me when she visited not long ago was surprising, but in a way, it was within expectations.
As a single woman with no one to rely on, she met a man in a similar situation and fell in love with him.
They worked hard together to escape chronic poverty and had a daughter.
But that didn't mean misfortune disappeared.
After losing her husband in an unfortunate accident, she fell into despair, quit her job, and her family's fortune quickly dwindled.
My memory roughly matched her testimony that she ended up leaving her daughter in front of the orphanage and then left.
Even now, when I close my eyes, I vaguely remember it.
The woman's face seemed on the verge of tears as she took my little hand and told me she would definitely come back someday and that I should wait until then because she would earn a lot of money.
In the second and current life, by Liena and the director's plan, I went to another orphanage and was forcibly adopted, then, to top it off, I had an accident and lost my memory, so I forgot what happened that day.
"But in my first life, I always remembered that promise and waited for my mother."
I spent my childhood rejecting various adoption offers from Duke Cassius, and even after becoming an adult.
But she didn't come back to me until the moment Liena, chosen by the goddess, traveled back in time.
Of course, Estelle didn't know the circumstances, so she couldn't ask her in detail, but I said, "Oh, I see." And I couldn't accept it.
I had waited too long for her, because of her promise, to let it pass so easily.
Besides, my heart ached. Even if it turned somber after growing to a certain extent, there was no way it wouldn't hurt.
Hadn't someone I trusted abandoned me and even betrayed her promise?
So, when I convinced myself that Estelle, who looked so much like me, was my biological mother, the first thing I asked was this.
"You promised to come, but why didn't you come?"
I worried she would lie and say she visited the orphanage a few years later and I wasn't there, but she did so without any reason.
The first words she spoke after licking her lips for a while were these.
"I'm so sorry, Ethel. There are no words that can excuse the mistakes I made."
With a slightly trembling voice, Estelle said the money hadn't been saved as originally expected.
And she said that every time she reflected on the reality of barely making a living to feed her mouth, she had bad thoughts.
She thought her daughter would be fine at the orphanage. At least she would grow up in a better environment than she could provide for her daughter right now.
"The fact that you couldn't afford to take me with you immediately doesn't mean you couldn't have come to see me. You could have come occasionally, asked me if I had any concerns, or if I had made any friends."
"...At that time, I thought you might be adopted into some other good home. Then, if I wandered around for no reason and you had any lingering feelings towards me, you might refuse to be adopted or not fit into your new home."
"Did you want that? You were the one who told me to wait because you would come back for me."
She nodded several times at my words.
"That's right. That was a ridiculous excuse. I only came to admit it later. I just... didn't have the courage to see you again. I didn't want to be a bad person."
In other words, leaving behind the expectant eyes of my daughter, she didn't even dare to bring her daughter back.
"After my life stabilized, I returned to the orphanage for the first time in several years."
"Did you come to look for me?"
She hesitated for a moment and then shook her head.
"No, to be honest, instead of looking for you, I planned to look from afar. I wanted to see if you were still there and if you hadn't been adopted yet... I wanted to think about what to do."
Unwittingly, she had avoided the danger of being shunned.
Because, with memories of my first life, I knew very well she had never actively searched for me.
If she had told a lie, even at this moment when she stood before her daughter about to be married, the desire to talk to my biological mother would have disappeared forever.
Anyway, I decided to listen to her in more detail first.
"If I hadn't been adopted, were you planning to take me back?"
".....I don't know. I don't think I thought that way, but I might have been closer to just wanting to alleviate my guilt after finding out you were adopted. I really was a coward back then..."
The suspicion arose in my head that if Estelle had found out about my situation of being sponsored by the Cassius family, in my first life, she would have simply stopped appearing in front of me.
Although I wasn't adopted, I was a child who carried the halo of the duchy.
Isn't it the best condition for a mother who abandoned her daughter to feel less guilty and return home satisfied?
"I see. Anything else?"
"But when I went and took a quick look, I saw that the orphanage had closed. Of course, you weren't there either."
Oh, I guess it was after Duke Cassius punished the orphanage director on charges of child abuse.
At that time, all the staff, except Teacher Angela, were punished for sympathizing with the director, so closing the orphanage was a natural order.
"They said the children had scattered. I even went to the Duke's family official responsible for the incident, but he told me he had never seen a girl like you."
Well, Angela disappeared for fear of retaliation from Liena, and I was in a different orphanage when Cassius's people cleaned up the orphanage.
Liena, who had returned, sent me elsewhere a few days before the duke came to visit, lusting after the adoption.
"She was very thorough about this, so it's very likely she even got rid of the documents."
When I realized Liena had ruined my life so much, I felt mortified, but I couldn't argue with a dead person.
"I-I didn't know how to find you after that... so..."
"You gave up."
She responded with silence. I waited patiently, imagining our past in my own way, until Estelle spoke next.
Finally, the heavy mouth opened.
"Sometimes I thought of you, but I felt I would never see you again. Until I saw your picture in the newspaper."
"You mean when I went to court to divorce Leandro Cassius?"
"Yes. You have a face that looks a lot like mine, and your name is Ethel. There was no information about your adoption anywhere, but I knew it was you at a glance."
"But why didn't you come to visit me then?"
"...When I heard that the parents who raised you abused you, I couldn't
help but admit I had made a terrible mistake back then. I was afraid. I was afraid you would blame me..."
"So why did you come here now?"
Estelle, who was silently biting her lip, spoke with a voice as faint as a mosquito a few minutes later.
"I wanted at least to congratulate you on this wedding. I never received congratulations from my mom."
Although the corners of her eyes shone with moisture, tears didn't flow in the end.
"I'm so sorry, Ethel. And congratulations on your wedding."
It's as if crying wasn't her role.
...
Even after she left, I stayed in the hall for a while.
Terence, who had entered the hall, remained silent by my side, but it turned out there was someone else besides us.
"Mistress."
"You surprised me! Lucy? How long have you been here?"
Lucy squinted at my words.
"I've been here from the beginning. My mistress and the woman just didn't notice."
"...Did you hear everything?"
"It wasn't intentional, but it happened that way. I apologize if I offended you."
"It's okay. It's actually not a big secret, no imoo."
"Hmm."
The divine beast let out a groan.
"I don't think it's my business, but I think it would be better to just say this."
"What?"
"That woman wasn't particularly driven by greed. I can tell because I react sensitively to human greed."
......
After that, Lucy disappeared like the wind, saying she had nothing more to say.
With my head spinning, I leaned back and spoke to Terence as if I were talking to myself.
"At least it means she didn't come after finding out I got rich thanks to the magic stone mine."
Terence raised his right hand and gently stroked my hair.
"Still, if you don't feel like it, you can pretend she doesn't exist. After all, she's a woman who abandoned her daughter and hasn't looked for you in a long time."
"I know. To be honest, I feel more annoyance and betrayal than affection or sympathy."
"Oh, no... I guess I suggested you meet her for no reason."
"No. Still, it's comforting because the questions that have been bothering me for a long time have been answered.
There's a saying that it's better not to know, but I don't think that's right in this situation.
"Anyway, the wedding is urgent right now, so I'll think about this later. Well, I might just go on without contacting her."
After that, I barely thought about my biological mother and focused solely on preparing for the wedding.
However, the moment I checked the guest list one last time, I unknowingly committed an impulsive act.
I ended up secretly adding her address, which I found out through the personal information left by my biological mother, to the list of invitations to send.
Why did I do that? I don't even know my own feelings.
That's how I found myself face to face with my biological mother, without knowing my own feelings until the day of my wedding.
"Wait a moment."
My mother, who was heading for the annex's back door, looked back in surprise.
"Ethel? W-Why are you...?"
I looked at the embarrassed woman for a moment and then parted my dry lips.
"Well, I'll be moving soon. If you have time, come visit me sometime. At least I can invite you for tea."
"What?"
Estelle continued blinking, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard.
Then she vigorously nodded her head.
"Yes, I'll definitely come. No, I'll definitely come. Your Royal Highness."
Seeing that she bothered to correct her words, it seems she understood approximately what I meant.
This means that if she really comes to visit, she will be welcomed as a guest, not as my mother.
After parting from Estelle, I muttered as I headed towards the banquet hall where Terence was.
"Don't you think being mother and daughter is too much?"
It was a question I didn't know who it was addressed to.
"Still......"
Just because they couldn't come back as a family, there was no way I could stop seeing her for the rest of my life.
I'll live my life doing what I want as much as possible. As Terence said.
Finally, when I opened the door and entered the banquet hall, I saw a man looking into my eyes.
My love, my companion, my family.
I walked towards where Terence was waiting.
-----------------------------
One month later.
After getting off the train station, I looked around and said.
"This is the former territory of Molo and the current territory of Freeheiden."
Terence, who was wearing an elegant cloak he bought in Leok, asked me.
"Aren't you tired? You said you wanted to pass by here on your way back to the capital, so we came here, but we just returned from Leok."
"It's okay. I'm in a good mood because I ate a lot of good food at Diana's house. And before officially moving here, I wanted to see for myself what it was like."
Since the area I visited on my last itinerary in Leok was relatively close to here, I headed there as soon as I crossed the border.
I took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled.
"Mmmm, I like it."
It was definitely less developed than Cassius's capital, which I had visited before, but the city was vibrant and the scenery pleasant.
Terence also put his arm around my shoulder and looked towards his mother's hometown.
"I do too. I'm really looking forward to living here."
"That's right. I guess I have a good feeling about it."
"I'm curious. What kind of feeling do you have?"
"Oh, there's no need to say."
I leaned in and whispered to Terence.
"Of course, I have a feeling that
Terence and I will also spend happy days here."
And that feeling wasn't just a feeling, but it was destined to become reality.
Because we will make it happen.
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